So, April's challenge was delayed a week. Because, once I got to the conference, it was a combination of nothing really great to choose from (I swear!) and really bad choices. In five days, I gained 2.6 lbs.

I spent the following week diligently remaining within my points range. I exercised. I took my daily vitamen. I didn't drink all my water. I lost 2.2 lbs.

So, what did I learn? The margaritas and cheesy enchiladas at the fantastic Mexican restaurant in Ely, Nevada, were not worth it. It will take me twice as long to take off what I put on in the 5 days I was at the Family Law Conference. (And, I'm getting old. Because I used to be able to take it right off.)

That said, I have not broken the 190 lb. barrier yet.

So, my long-term April goal is 4 weeks of being within my points range. That means I have 3 weeks left until I can have my pedicure.

Nothing else truly exciting is going on right now. I'm trudging away at WW and my health seems stable. My next eye check up is the last week of April.

TTFN.

April's Challenge

I'm taking a week off of mini-goals. It's tiring to keep failing at them, so I'm simply not doing it this week.

I am, however, committing to a monthly goal. March's Water Challenge was a waste. I don't think I met my water requirements for a straight 7 days this month. But, I didn't put a reward out there either. Since I wasn't expecting to reward myself, I didn't do it.

So, for April's challenge, I'm committing "simply" to stay within my points range, including the 35 flex points, for 4 straight weeks. If I succeed through April 18th, then I can get a pedicure - right in time for spring (hopefully).

Now, this sounds easy. Because, for the most part, I have not exceeded my daily and flex points for the last 3 months. But I think it will be particularly difficult in April because: (1) this week I'm going out of town for a professional conference. Four days straight of eating out, with no home cooking or home control. (2) Easter. A family dinner where I have no control, and they cook with gross amounts of butter and fat.

And, if I don't succeed. No pedicure. No pretty toes. No sandles.

Yick. I've waited all winter to wear sandles.

--------------------
Summary Update

Lost 1.0 lbs this week.

Starting: 205.8
Current: 190.0
Gone!: 15.8

Rebuilding the Walls

"Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore, we must be saved by hope."
-- Reinhold Niebuhr

Mr. Niebuhr also wrote the Serenity Prayer, which states in its entirety:
"God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful workld as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next."

My body is one of the many resources God has granted me. It is my duty to manage these resources as a faithful steward, a trustee. In the law, a trustee has "fiduciary duties," including the duty to prudently invest resources and to prevent waste or destruction. It's not always possible to keep a house from burning down, or a stock portfolio from shrinking, but I can control what goes into and out of my mouth, mind, and heart.

But, as Mr. Niebur indicates, my job will never be done. Health and fitness is a lifelong project. But it is something that I can change, one day at a time.

This week, I took the defeat from the previoius two weeks and channeled it into the decision to succeed. To not give into self-pity, doubt, or cravings. And it worked! I lost 3.8 lbs this week, more then making up for last week.

Although I "gave up" sweets, but the end of the week it didn't matter. Oh, sure, I wanted more chocolate quite a few times. But did it really matter? No. It didn't affect my quality of life, or my enjoyment of the moment. It would not have given me satisfaction, just regret that I had undermined myself yet again.

But I must admit that I am still making a serious mistake: I am relying on my own will-power to fuel my self-control. Even though I know I'm not enough. If I were, I wouldn't be fat in the first place and this would not be the 4th diet I've been on in 6 years.

I'm studying Nehemiah right now. Chapters 1 and 2 show how Nehemiah prepared to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem in about 700 b.c. Yes, he planned and plotted and organized. But he also meditated and prayed for months. Yes, I have planned and plotted and organized. I have my points calculator, my meal plans, and my gym appointment. But I don't think I've really stopped and asked for God's help or blessing. I haven't stopped and gone, "God, give me just my daily bread, and keep me from that chocolate temptation." It's a mistake that will result in my failure. Because this journey cannot be accomplished in my lifetime, so I have to rely on Hope.

So, even though I appear to being back on track and doing better, I want to ask for God's blessing and will-power on this journey, his protection and guidance. For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

So, as I move into this week, I want to commit to regular prayer on this topic, 4 points of junk food per day, and 2 1/2 hours of exercise. This is in addition to my monthly goal of drinking all my water.

Finally, my one-month dead line is coming up. March 14th is time for a new monthly goal. Any ideas?