Motivation

Why is it, whenever I start to "diet," I sabotage myself? Why is it, when I want to do good, that I still do bad? Romans 7:21-25.

I can't blame this on Christmas or the baby. The "Holiday Season" is a fallacy -- there is some form of excuse-laden holiday every month of the year. And, while the baby is time consuming, exhausting, and exhiliarating -- he doesn't drive me to eat. Indeed, thanks to breast feeding, he should actually be helping me take the pounds off.

It's not that I don't have the tools necessary to loose weight. I have, know, and quite often use all the right tools:
(1) I'm back at Weight Watchers meetings (for the past 3 weeks). I love my leader; she's very encouraging. But somehow, when I'm diving into a box of chocolate, I don't care what she's going to say to me a week from now.
(2) I went ahead and signed up for WW Etools. They have online journaling, so I don't even have to do the math any more! (I've pretty much memorized points values for the food I regularly eat.)
(3) My kitchen is relatively junk food free. And, if it's not, then its my fault. Evan has been pretty good about not sabotaging me lately. So, the baklava, fudge, and ice cream that has snuck its way into my kitchen this past week is because I've gone out and bought it, or asked him to bring it home. (On the bright side, I chucked the baklava last night. Better wasted then waisted.)
(4) I have a great meal plan. I re-signed up for e-mealz.com. Every Friday, I get a 7 day meal plan for Weight Watchers. Dinners are generally 6 to 8 points, and makes a serving of 6 so that I'll have left overs for lunch.
(5) I have nursing points. 10 extra points a day. I thought there would be no way I'd ever be able to eat 37 points a day! Boy, was I wrong. . .
(6) A gym membership. I paid for the whole year in advance last January. It's good through March. And yet, I haven't been to the gym since May. I could blame the pregnancy, but that's just an excuse. Now, I wish I'd spent that money on the treadmill I'd been eying. At least then, the money wouldn't have been completely wasted.

I was hoping this time would be different. Or easier. I mean, I am literally on doctor's orders to loose weight. And, I have my son as an anchor to motivate me -- he just doesn't need a mother on the edge of a stroke b/c of blood pressure problems.

I am so very tempted to quit. To say, "Now is not the time. I just don't have it in me." But, then, what happens in 6 months? Do I get back on the scale 10 lbs heavier and regret not trying now? (See http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=44351). I know that's what will happen. So, for now, I have to focus on getting to my WW meetings and setting some realistic goals.

Maybe it will help that the Christmas fudge season has passed. . .

In case you haven't heard. . .

In case you haven't heard, I'm PREGNANT!

This means absolutely no dieting. (Although I'm still trying to eat smart.)

It also means I'm taking a hiatus from this blog for a while. But you can still keep up at my other blog: www.keeping-up-with-the-joneses.blogspot.com.

Flore

After considering many people's -- and my own -- trepidation about not journaling or counting points, I've decided to try a hybrid approach. It is technically the the Flex program, but you choose Core foods and limit yourself to only 35 points of non-core foods per week. (Hence the title of this post, "Flore.") I tried it last week -- and although I wasn't too great about staying with that 35 point limit (I'm too reliant on pre-packaged and prepared food) -- it was quite an improvement.

At least according to my journal.

Not so much to the scale. We don't have a digitial scale at home. As far as I could tell, I either lost zero or .5 of a pound. *sigh* Not really that encouraging.

To help continue my drive, I signed up for Weight Watchers Online today. Journalling seems to be one of my most consistent weaknesses. (Junk food and lack of water plagues me also.) WW Online has a nifty journal that I should be able to access from any computer. It will prevent me from leaving my log at home on the counter, or at work on my desk, or generally anywhere I was 1/2 an hour ago. I'll have no excuse: my journal will always be at home or at work or with me on vacation.

(Due to general lack of motivation, finances, and time, I think I'll be taking a break from WW meetings. WW Online will substitute for the time being.)

I've been tinkering, and one of the neat looking things is that it appears I can plan my week in advance. If I use WW recipes it also says it will generate a shopping list for me. Still have to figure that function out. But it is promising.