Okay. Wow. I'm sheepish about posting when it's been so long. In case you hadn't figured it out, I've fallen off the band wagon. I was drug behind if for a while, but eventually I just let go and watched it disappear into the distance. ... Hm. Very sad. Think sad Western music with dust and a tumbleweed.

I'm still struggling with motivation, but I should be getting some help next week. My husband has decided it is time for him to loose weight too. So, starting next week he'll be joining me in doing Weight Watchers. He's going to do the old 1-2-3 plan (can't get him to an actual meeting to save his life).

I am toying with doing Core. I've been thinking a lot about it, and researching like crazy. (And if you know me, you know that's an understatement.) Fruits, veggies, lean meats, whole grains (some with limitations) till your satisfied; then 35 points to blow on whatever (like a 2nd serving of pasta, or that cold stone ice cream.) In my wanderings I found www.amyroe.net as a wonderful resource for Core information, including practicle tips, meal planning ideas, and a grocery list. Thank you Amy -- who I don't know -- for being such a help and inspiration!

So, as the New Year approaches, I am looking to recommit. (It's not a resolution!) I have to repicture my motivation, suck it up, and find new ways to keep undereating (i.e. dieting) interesting.

I invite comments: would you ever consider Core? do you get sick of journaling and flex points? how do you keep it interesting? And, for the next step: what is a reasonable short term (3 month goal)? long term goal? how do you get your exercise in?

Eighth Month Review

1) Consitently
2) Stay on Weight Watchers
3) Exercise
4) Daily quiet time with God.

My two-month lapse in blogging should have already allerted you to the fact that I have not been consistently staying on Weight Watchers, exercising, or spending time with God.

June and July were really awful for these goals. I floundered, and floundered, and floundered. I kept using the "Faithfully Fit" devotional, asked others to pray, tried to get my husband to stop quietly sabotaging me, and it didn't work. Not then. I piled on another 4 lbs.

And then, for no obvious reason, it mostly clicked. I have consistently journalled, stayed (mostly) within my points range. I have now lost weight for five straight weeks. It was extremely slow (.2 to .8 lbs per week), but I have lost what I put on and then some. My WW leader pointed out that I am no longer in a plateau, even if I don't feel like it.

So, as it always is, I continue to be a work in progress. For right now I've been reaching goals 1 and 2, but I am not exercising and I have only recently gotten back into a daily routine of meeting with God.

I'm not jumping excited, but I am (at least for now) back on track.

Summary Update

Start: 205.8
Current: 177.6
Gone: 28.2
Time: 8 months/32 weeks
Average: .88 lbs per week

Six Month Review

As we approach the end of June, I have been actively pursuing my journey of balanced spiritual, physical, and mental health for six months. I figured now was a good time to evaluate why I am doing this, how my overeating undermines those goals, and what steps I can take to meet these goals.

(1) To have a baby. This one’s new. I did not start out in January thinking this way, but now that my husband and I are seriously considering starting a family in the semi-distant future, this has become a primary factor for me. My weight is one of the most influential factors in determining whether I can get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have a healthy pregnancy.

Overeating undermines this goal by putting it entirely at risk. I am already at risk due to my endometriosis, so being overweight when I try to get pregnant will just further complicate matters. My overeating is quietly sabotaging this goal.

It is not enough to acknowledge my goals and how my old ways will simply undermine them. I need to make a concrete plan to meet those goals. When it comes to getting healthy in order to have a baby, the very first step is going to be consistency. I have to stop being on-again/off-again with my diet. I have a tendancy to “take off” for a weekend or a week. I can’t afford to do that and stay on-track, let alone develop the necessary self-discipline to teach healthy living to a child. So, step one is: Consistency.

(2) To get my health under control. This was my primary motivating factor last winter. Between my myopic degeneration and my endometriosis, I was determined to stop piling on the pounds. Technically, my conditions are not weight-related, but I have found that they (especially my endometriosis) react better when I am eating right and exercising regularly.

Overeating just makes me feel bad. It decreases my energy, and makes me sick feeling. It makes me vulnerable to the daily wearing pain and frustrations of my conditions, leaving me open to collapsing under them.

To reach this goal requires maintaining my daily eating habits and exercise. Generally, I can be “on the wagon” but be eating crap and sitting on the couch. This doesn’t help me deal with my daily pain, or avoid feeling sick. To find equilibrium with my health, I need to increase fiber, cut down on junk, and maintain my exercise routine.

(3) To ensure that I am healthy in my old age. One of my greatest fears it to be trapped in my own body as I age, instead of being healthy and active enough to enjoy retirement. This is, of course, directly related to how I take care of myself now.

Overeating, and failing to take care of my self now, will mean that I suffer the lifelong consequences of obesity and lack of activity when I am older and unable to repair that damage.

Consistent healthy eating and exercise will obviously lead to the type of healthy body that will keep me active into my old age. But I need more then that: I need to maintain the agile thinking that I so enjoy. To that end, I want to commit to turning off the tv and computer and doing something, anything, else that keeps me from sitting. The long term purpose here is to develop an interest/activity that keeps me moving, even when I am bored or alone all day.

(4) To honor God. I know this sounds cheesy, but my body is one of the many assets God has entrusted to me. I have a duty to manage it, as I would money, for His benefit. As a trust attorney, this is called a “fiduciary duty,” which means that the trustee is legally bound to do what a reasonably prudent person would do in that situation for the benefit of the beneficiary. Read Romans 12:1 – our “reasonable” act of worship. All this boils down to a simple definition: the minimum standard of conduct. So, technically, taking care of my body is the minimum standard of conduct that God expects from me.

Overeating hinders my ability to use this asset for His Glory.

My blog makes it seem like I consistently pray every day, all day long. I realize how high-and-mighty my writing may sound, narrated in your inner voice. But please realize that I am a work in progress, never perfect. I work daily on my relationship with Jesus and it isn’t always flawless.

I have talked for a long time about my devotionals, but you will notice that I didn’t say “daily.” (Except, maybe, for a 3 week period in April where I tried really hard to get up at dawn every day. Yeah, that didn’t last long.) It is so important to maintain regular contact/dialogue with God. How can I know what resource He needs to use if I’m not listening? So, my final step in my four-point plan is to work on daily devotionals.

After reviewing my motivators, I have a revised four point plan towards total health:

(1) Consistently
(2) Stay on Weight Watchers (food servings and all).
(3) Don’t sit on your butt.
(4) Pray every day.

Sounds pretty good, huh? Now I have to work on implementing it. … More on that next week.

14s

It's amazing what people notice. I haven't really bought many clothes since I started loosing weight in January. Hence, my regular work clothes -- slacks mostly -- are still a size 18. I did know they were baggy, but apparently not how baggy.

This week at work is a slow week, with nothing scheduled because my boss is out of town. So, I've gotten to wear my "casual" clothes more this week. And, my casual clothes tend to be smaller -- refugees from my bygone skinny days. Y'know, the shorts/dress/jeans you just didn't want to give up. Because when you were skinny they looked great. Now you pour yourself into them, even if it means laying flat on the bed to button them closed. At some point, you longingly admit they don't look good anymore so you tuck them away in the back of your closet and swear you'll get into them again. (For you Sex and the City fans: think Miranda's skinny jeans.)

Well, I'm not a pack rat. So tended to get rid of 80% of those old "skinny" clothes. But I kept a few key pieces: my dress from Jeannette's wedding (size 13), a pair of black slacks (13/14), some high end suits (12s). Mostly sentimental or expensive clothes I just wasn't ready to part with.

Enter my dress from Jeannette's wedding (the white sundress with purple/grey flowers). It was tight when I wore it to her wedding and I only wore it once more before tucking it to the back of my closet. It's been staring at me for a couple weeks, daring me to try it on. Frankly, in my mid-180s I wasn't brave enough to try it on, and be sorely disappointed. But yesterday (before my weigh in) I went: what the heck! I put it on and ... it fit!!! A little snug, but comfortable. Whoo hoo.

And then came the size 13/14 slacks this morning. I just didn't want to put on my gray size 18 slacks; they look like MC Hammer pants at this point. So I grabbed the black slacks. (I should preface this. I tried them on a month ago and I looked like badly stuffed sausage in them.) Today they are fitting comfortably, no panty lines. Whoo hoo.

(And all this despite being on my period!)

It hasn't really sunk in that I'm down here yet. I still picture myself very wide. But this is the first week that I've been getting showered with praises at work. They might have mentioned a few things when I cut my hair, but everybody is noticing this week. Perhaps its that I'm finally having to shed my size 18 slacks and am wearing my old 14s.

Summary Update

Start: 205.8 lbs.
Current: 178.6 lbs.
Gone: 27.2 lbs.
Days: 168 days/24 weeks/6 months
Average: 1.13 lbs/week

Faithfully Fit

In the past two weeks I have been consistently using the book Faithfully Fit to do devotions on healthy eating. I am proceeding through the book slowly, but each and every devotional is freakishly on point. It's helping quite a bit. I have had had several moments where I have stopped, checked, and decided whether I was really hungry or not. Whether I was filling my God-hole with food. One time, I realized that was exactly what I was doing so I stopped, in the middle of my weekend, and did a devotional out of the book. Very helpful.

The past two weeks I have stayed within the WW program. I have never eaten outside my flex and activities points, although I'm not too happy about having to eat into my activity points. Alas, there have been too many nights out with friends and family dinners. Nonetheless, I have still lost.

At my weight-in today, I weighed exactly 180.0 -- that is, I've lost 2.8 lbs in 2 weeks and lost 25 lbs total. Rather then feeling relieved, though, I have a fear that I'll be falling off the wagon soon. I think that 180 lbs. is a barrier-number for me; I can't imagine actually being in the 170s. Sad, but true. I guess the next step is picturing myself actually being in the 170s and being that weight.

I leave you with this: if you are a Christian, you have at your access the greatest power in the universe. You can access the power of resurection, of life over death. Ephesians 1:18-19. Imagine the immense reserve we have, to draw upon in all situations, from this incredible power. The question is why we don't.

...motivation lapse

So, you're wondering why I haven't posted in over 3 weeks? Quite simply, because I have been struggling and generally failing miserably at Weight Watchers. After reaching my 10% goal, I have not lost (overall) more then that. I've waffled, gaining one week, down the next.

I'd love to blame it on PMS, bad health, stress... but the truth is I have lost focus, and that has resulted in a complete lapse in all the basics. I haven't journaled, drank enough water, or even counted points many days. I have splurged, far too often, on junk food, blizzards, and Cold Stone. The reason I'm floundering is all me.

So, I'm trying to get my focus back. Understanding the my self-discipline will eventually lapse if left to me, myself, and I, I have started a new Bible devotional. It's a 6 week devotional titled Faithfully Fit, written in 1991. It's not a "diet book," but rather a series of devotionals, scripture readings, and journaling activities designed to help individuals connect to God in their pursuit of health. The first week is focused on "surrendering," so I'll see how that goes.

I did the introduction today, which pointed out the following verse:

Romans 7: 22-25: "For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (NIV)

Or, from The Message paraphrase:

"It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

I was stunned, frankly, that there was a verse so on point. That even though I want to do better, I'm trapped in a body that wants to indulge. (Hence the chocolate cravings.) I am at the end of my rope. I simply can't overcome this on my own. Now, the real question is whether I'm ready to surrender over to God to let him fill me with the motivation, drive, and discipline to overcome this weakness.

Nothing wild or fantastic to report. I did loose this week -- I'm sure, in part, due to the fact that I am exercising again. Now, I just have to keep that up.

With my loss, the 170s are in sight. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be there by the end of May (if not sooner).

Being Fat as a Symptom of Blindness

II Peter 1:5-9: "[M]ake every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

I found this verse while doing bible study today. It hit me particularly hard, as I lack many of these traits but especially self-control when it comes to food. (This should be obvious. If I had such self-control I wouldn't be fat now.) As someone who suffers from both nearsightedness and a form of blindness, I realized that if I fail to exercise the self-control necessary to loose and keep off my weight then my physical blindness will be translated into spiritual blindness. Failure to exercise the self-discipline and self-control in my eating, exercising, and health, will eventually bleed into the failure of self-discipline and self-control in my sprirtual life. This battle I am having is both a first-step to and a symptom of a greater spritual battle that could eventually lead to being a lame and ineffective advocate for Christ.

That's not to say that I am already spirtually blind because of my lack of self-control. It's just another reason to continue working on this. And, this passage of scripture, is very clear that cultivating these traits takes work. I have to make every effort to develop these various traits.

So, the next question is whether I have made every effort to develop self-control. Obviously, in the past, the answer is no. If I had, I would not be overweight. Even now, I am not making every effort, althought I am making some. What I have to take away from this is the need to make every effort as I move forward, and to know that God is backing me up. That with his help (Phillipians. 4:13), and hard work, I can achieve the self-control necessary not just to loose the weight but to keep it off.

10% for Real.

No really. This time I'm sure. I got the keychain and everything. This week I did reach my 10% for real. I've lost 21.4 lbs total.

Psych.

So what's worse then gaining? It's never having lost in the first place. My WW leader apologized profusely to me. Apparently, the scale was wonky last week and gave everyone a bad reading. Including me, with the phenomenal -- and apparently fake -- loss. So, guess what? I never actually reached my 10% goal. I never actually lost more than 20 lbs. Nope. I'm at 187.4 lbs -- not 183.00. Looking at it, I've lost .8 lbs in the last 2 weeks. Not over 5 lbs. So, grrr. Double grr.

I suppose I should still be pleased. I'm still loosing, despite my faultering journaling and motivation. But .... well, grr. Double grr.

I suppose this should spur me on to do really well this week so I'll have a substantial loss this week. Then maybe I can really reach my 10% goal. Hmmph. Grr. grr. grr.

I've edited the previous post to remove the summary update.

10 PERCENT!!!!

That's right, baby. I met my 10% weight loss goal this week. I have officially lost 22.8 lbs. Really unbelievable.

This week I kept up on the water, but that was about it. Between my hectic Easter-week schedule, Easter itself, and PMS/period, I stopped journalling last Thursday and didn't count on Saturday and Sunday. But, like the previous week, I employed careful decision making and had small portion sizes. And, lo and behold, I lost 5.2 lbs this week. (Personally, I think a lot of it had to do with the massive amount of exercise I got in moving Easter sets around my Church's stage for 6 straight nights. Thank you, God.)

Also, thank you all so much for your support and your notes in the comment section. I check them once a week when I update my blog and they mean a lot to me.

(Re)Starting Place

Little to report. I did loose this week, but not a lot. Partially it has to do with the fact that I had a gallbladder attack on Thursday, partially has to do with not following most of the fundamentals (journaling, counting points, water), but I still lost because after 15 weeks t\he habits have started to sink in.

Compare to last month and the Family Law Conference. I completely collapsed: I was off the program for 4 days, enjoyed margaritas and cheesey enchiladas, and gained 2.8 lbs. This week I was off program for 4 days, enjoyed (in moderation) strawberry lemonade and homemade mac n' cheese, and lost .4 lbs. What was the difference? Not giving up. Not deciding that because I blew the last meal, I might as well give up for the whole week. I have to make that decision every time I have a lapse. But I have no idea what helped me make that choice this week as compared to last month's lapse. (And why don't I know? Partially because I stopped journalling. Grr.)

So, this week I want to go back to making a goal. Not a big one, but one to help me get back onto track. I am going to drink all of the required water (starting tomorrow, because I'm pretty sure I can't fit it in today. Can you say "floating?"). It's a re-starting place anyway.

Lookin' Good

17.2 lbs down .... I'm not saying how many to go. But don't I look good? (Evan could relax a little.)

On track for that pedicure. Only 2 more weeks. In fact, I'm going to call and make the appointment today. Now, if only the weather would cooperate. . .

On the bright side, Weight Watchers has opened 3 new meeting sites in my area! So, instead of Monday at 4:30 or Tuesday at noon, I now have the choices of Wednesday at dawn, Wednesday at lunch, or Thursday at 4:30. Yeah! I'm thinking of switching to Wednesday at noon. I'll try the class next week to see who the leader is. I'm particularly fond of the Monday leader.

So, April's challenge was delayed a week. Because, once I got to the conference, it was a combination of nothing really great to choose from (I swear!) and really bad choices. In five days, I gained 2.6 lbs.

I spent the following week diligently remaining within my points range. I exercised. I took my daily vitamen. I didn't drink all my water. I lost 2.2 lbs.

So, what did I learn? The margaritas and cheesy enchiladas at the fantastic Mexican restaurant in Ely, Nevada, were not worth it. It will take me twice as long to take off what I put on in the 5 days I was at the Family Law Conference. (And, I'm getting old. Because I used to be able to take it right off.)

That said, I have not broken the 190 lb. barrier yet.

So, my long-term April goal is 4 weeks of being within my points range. That means I have 3 weeks left until I can have my pedicure.

Nothing else truly exciting is going on right now. I'm trudging away at WW and my health seems stable. My next eye check up is the last week of April.

TTFN.

April's Challenge

I'm taking a week off of mini-goals. It's tiring to keep failing at them, so I'm simply not doing it this week.

I am, however, committing to a monthly goal. March's Water Challenge was a waste. I don't think I met my water requirements for a straight 7 days this month. But, I didn't put a reward out there either. Since I wasn't expecting to reward myself, I didn't do it.

So, for April's challenge, I'm committing "simply" to stay within my points range, including the 35 flex points, for 4 straight weeks. If I succeed through April 18th, then I can get a pedicure - right in time for spring (hopefully).

Now, this sounds easy. Because, for the most part, I have not exceeded my daily and flex points for the last 3 months. But I think it will be particularly difficult in April because: (1) this week I'm going out of town for a professional conference. Four days straight of eating out, with no home cooking or home control. (2) Easter. A family dinner where I have no control, and they cook with gross amounts of butter and fat.

And, if I don't succeed. No pedicure. No pretty toes. No sandles.

Yick. I've waited all winter to wear sandles.

--------------------
Summary Update

Lost 1.0 lbs this week.

Starting: 205.8
Current: 190.0
Gone!: 15.8

Rebuilding the Walls

"Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore, we must be saved by hope."
-- Reinhold Niebuhr

Mr. Niebuhr also wrote the Serenity Prayer, which states in its entirety:
"God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful workld as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next."

My body is one of the many resources God has granted me. It is my duty to manage these resources as a faithful steward, a trustee. In the law, a trustee has "fiduciary duties," including the duty to prudently invest resources and to prevent waste or destruction. It's not always possible to keep a house from burning down, or a stock portfolio from shrinking, but I can control what goes into and out of my mouth, mind, and heart.

But, as Mr. Niebur indicates, my job will never be done. Health and fitness is a lifelong project. But it is something that I can change, one day at a time.

This week, I took the defeat from the previoius two weeks and channeled it into the decision to succeed. To not give into self-pity, doubt, or cravings. And it worked! I lost 3.8 lbs this week, more then making up for last week.

Although I "gave up" sweets, but the end of the week it didn't matter. Oh, sure, I wanted more chocolate quite a few times. But did it really matter? No. It didn't affect my quality of life, or my enjoyment of the moment. It would not have given me satisfaction, just regret that I had undermined myself yet again.

But I must admit that I am still making a serious mistake: I am relying on my own will-power to fuel my self-control. Even though I know I'm not enough. If I were, I wouldn't be fat in the first place and this would not be the 4th diet I've been on in 6 years.

I'm studying Nehemiah right now. Chapters 1 and 2 show how Nehemiah prepared to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem in about 700 b.c. Yes, he planned and plotted and organized. But he also meditated and prayed for months. Yes, I have planned and plotted and organized. I have my points calculator, my meal plans, and my gym appointment. But I don't think I've really stopped and asked for God's help or blessing. I haven't stopped and gone, "God, give me just my daily bread, and keep me from that chocolate temptation." It's a mistake that will result in my failure. Because this journey cannot be accomplished in my lifetime, so I have to rely on Hope.

So, even though I appear to being back on track and doing better, I want to ask for God's blessing and will-power on this journey, his protection and guidance. For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

So, as I move into this week, I want to commit to regular prayer on this topic, 4 points of junk food per day, and 2 1/2 hours of exercise. This is in addition to my monthly goal of drinking all my water.

Finally, my one-month dead line is coming up. March 14th is time for a new monthly goal. Any ideas?

Two steps forward, one step back

Or in my case, 13.2 lbs forward, 1.8 lbs back. That's right, I had my first gain since starting this journey. At my weigh-in yesterday I gained 1.8 lbs.

Fortunately, I have continued to journal. Over the past two weeks, I used at least 26 of my flex points each week. When compared to the previous weeks, this was a lot. For the weeks I was loosing, I was using between 7 and 12 flex points. This was in addition to 1 - 2 hours of cardio and enough water.

The other really successful weight loss week was the week I limited my junk food to 4 points per day.

Last week's goals were to journal and to drink sufficient water. My journal has again proved invaluable in helping me figure out what went wrong (or right). I did miss 2 days of water last week, but that was at the very beginning; I am finally doing better on this challenge.

The last goal was to grocery shop based on a meal outline. That didn't happen, mainly because I ran out of time to grocery shop. By this weekend, though, I'll have to go or we'll be eating crumbs from the back of the pantry.

I am going to approach this week with a desperate vigor. I will not go back. I was just starting to like my smaller slacks. So, this week I am going to try the following:

(1) Instead of banking my points, like the 1-2-3 program, I'm going to use the Flex Plan but I'm limiting myself to 15 flex points for the entire week. If I stretch it out, then that will give me about 2 extra points per day.
(2) I will limit myself to 4 points of junk food (as previously defined). However, I am making a special note that graham crackers and marshmallows don't count as junk food.
(3) I need to work out more. I've been lax, falling back to maybe 1 time per week. So, I am committing to 2 hours at the gym this week, with at least 1 hour of cardio.

One week on . . . one week off.

This was not my week for "lifestyle" changes. Between Valentine's Day, my birthday, and a three-day weekend, I made some pretty bad eating choices. Kudos to my email buddy, Christy, for encouraging me to journal and count my points anyway. Even though I made some bad choices last weekend, I still did not exceed my 35 flex points. Regardless, I'm not feeling too motivated today.

Fortunately, no weigh-in this week to get me even further down. Due to President's Day, I was granted a weigh-in reprieve.

Last week, I did exercise and clean out the spare guest room as I intended. Although, I have to admit I did neither with the intent to meet my stated goals. I just did them because, well, they had to be done.

I threw out the junk food limit almost as fast as I made it. I suppose it was bad form to make that goal on Valentine's Day, and only 2 days before my birthday.

Water is still lacking, although not as badly as the week before.

This week, I'm going back to basics:

(1) Water: six 8 oz. glasses per day.
(2) Journal: warts and all.
(3) Prepare meal plan (better known as my "meal outline") for the next 2 weeks; grocery shop.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Summary Update

Current Weight: 192.6
Starting Weight: 205.8
Gone: 13.2 lbs
Days: 44 (7 weeks)

Whooooo Hooooooo!!!!

Whoa.

I don't really know how it happened. It's quite a mystery, but . . . I am disappearing.

After a disappointing loss last week (.2 lbs), I had an astonishing 6 pound loss this week. What did I do? I did exactly what I said in my last entry. I drank all my water, ate between 24 and 27 points, and limited my junk food to 4 points per day. (I did have one slip up: I went to 5 points one day. The next day I limited myself to 3 points.) Nothing extraordinary.

In fact, I made some bad choice last week too. I only exercised once. I went out for drinks with friends twice. I didn't get hungry on Saturday until 2:00 p.m., so I didn't eat until then--craming my entire points in from 2 p.m. until bed at 10 p.m. I even ate 1/2 of Olive Garden's Spaghetti and Sausage dish on Sunday (15 points, with salad and breadstick).

But, apparently, water and junk food appear to be key. Perhaps my metabolism has grown past being able to efficiently burn junk food. Is that even a legitimate theory?

As of this Thursday, I will have eaten to my minimum points every day for a month. I will start a new monthly goal. Since it appears to be aboslutely necessary for me to loose weight, my monthly goal is to drink at least six 8 oz. glasses of water per day. This may appear to be easy, but I've been chugging bottles of water just before bed for the past week. So, I solemenly swear: I will drink six 8 oz. glasses of water per day from February 16th through March 14th. (Dad: After that you can choose my April goal!)

But, I still need to keep my mini-goals going. I want to test the junk food theory again so:

(1) I will limit myself to 4 junk food points per day. See definition of junk food below.
(2) I will exercise at least 2 hours this week.
(3) I will clear out either the 2nd guest room (i.e. the Teddy Bear room) or the garage this weekend, depending on the weather.

Honeymoon is Over

The dieting honeymoon is over. I lost a whopping .2 lbs last week--that's 2/10 of a pound. So what did I do wrong? I let myself get lax. At least I still journaled, without it I wouldn't know that:

1) I didn't drink the minimum amount of water (six 8 oz glasses per day) for 9 days straight;
2) I only did 1 1/2 hours of exercise last week, half the normal.
3) I ate into my banked points (i.e. over 29 points) at least every third day, including last Saturday and Superbowl Sunday.
4) Candy, cake, and other junk food is taking a substantial portion of my points--often 3 to 8 points per day.

Weight loss and health are a marathon. I know that, but I was, apparently, still getting lazy. So, this week I have two rather painful goals:

1) Drink all the required water.
2) Limit candy and other junk food to 4 points per day. Jell-o pudding, dreamwhip mouse, cool whip, Quaker Dip bars, WW 1 point cakes, WW 2 point bars, rice krispy treats, ice cream, and chocolate of any kind all count as "junk food." Let me stress how absolutely difficult this will be.

I add these goals to my standing goal of: eating to the minimum points through Feb. 16th. But, to avoid going overboard, I am reducing my daily points range from 24 to 29 points, to 24 to 27 points. This will keep me from filling up my bank too fast, and from having too many excessive points to munch on.

I am fast approaching my monthly goal of eating to my minimum every day. Next week I will need to select a new monthly goal to take me through March 14th. I solicit your ideas and suggestions. Please aim to challenge me and encourage me.

Thanks for all your help.

Broke the 200 lb. Barrier

Yeah! I am now 198.8 lbs, below the 200 lb. barrier. In just 4 weeks (28 days), I have lost 7 lbs.

So, what's been working for me? Exercise, water, and eating the right level of points (calories). I have been eating my minimum every day for several weeks now, and my weekly loss has only increased. At least for weight loss, I appear to be on track.

I did have a meal plan to work from this week. I discovered that it was useless. I rarely used it, and if I did I usually swapped the meals around. Rather then plan a meal per day, I think it would be better to plan for 5 meals in a week and then pick the meal I want when I get home.

What are my pending goals:
1: Eat to my minimum points.
Status: Great! My minimum just dropped from 26 to 24 points, but I'm going to keep eating around 26. If it's still working, why starve myself?
2. Exercise 3 hours this week, with 1 hour of cardio.
Status: I got 3 hours in, but only 50 minutes of cardio.
3. Increase veggies to 3 per day.
Status: My journal says I complied. Course, I also had 3 fried tacos, 4 scoops of ice cream, and 3 brownies Sunday. It was a bad day (in terms of what I ate), but I was only 2 points over the maximum.
4. Get info on masters degree program.
Status: The skinny is that there is currently no info to be had.

Goals this week:
1. Eat to my minimum points through February 16.
2. Exercise 3 hours, with 1 hour of cardio.
3. Prepare meal plan and go grocery shopping.
4. Follow Flylady.com cleaning zone for this week (Living room and dining room?); spend at least 1 hour cleaning.

Day 21.

Current weight: 200.6 lbs.
Gone: 5.2 lbs.

Pending Goals:
1. Eat to minimum points every day through February 16.
Status: Going well. Have done so every day this week, and still lost 1.4 lbs.
2. Exercise 3 hours this week.
Status: Exercised 3 hours and 15 minutes! Met with trainer to get a weight lifting routine to compliment my yoga and pilates.
3. Make meal plan and grocery list for this week.
Status: Made meal plan, with special emphasis on meals DH (Dear Husband) can cook on the nights I get home late from exercising. (Can anyone else say "pasta?"). No grocery list needed as I have all relevant ingrediants.
4. Clean bathrooms.
Status: Failed miserably. Toilets still glaring at me. But: curtains lined before eye appointment; Christmas ornaments down; laundry washed, folded, and put away; and kitchen cleaned. Plus, made appointment for cleaning lady to come every 3rd Thursday (which is this Thursday). Hey, we all have our weaknesses, right?

So, what are this week's goals?

1. Exercise 3 hours, with at least 1 hour of pure cardio.
2. Increase vegitable/fruit intake to at least 3 servings per day.
3. Get information on the masters of theology classes starting at Church this Fall. Perhaps, this time, I can actually take the classes.

(Yes, I am a complete nerd and work-aholic.)

Storyboarding

I am officially on day 14.

I weighed in at Weight Watchers yesterday at a disappointing 202.0 pounds. This was despite being OP for two straight weeks. Although I know all the right answers to consol myself, it is still disappointing.

I was not able to meet my goal of exercising last week because I had the flu. I am still recovering, and having difficulty breathing due to congestion. I should be able to go back to working out this week.

At Weight Watchers this week, the topic of discussion was "storyboarding." This is the process of visualizing your ultimate goal in specific terms and then breaking down the steps necessary to acheive it. I have never specifically stated an ultimate weight loss goal, although I have a vague goal of being healthy, overall, in terms of weight, physicality, spirtuality, and with an active mind. Therefore, today I am stating my specific weight loss goal: I want to be a size 12 by the end of 2006. Based on the last time I was a size 12, I will have to loose approximately 40 lbs in 50 weeks, to acheive this goal.

I've already been breaking down my overall goal into weekly "steps" or mini-goals. I will need to continue to work on these mini-goals to acheive my overall goal. In larger terms, I will need to meet certain steps to loose the required weight. My first overall step is going to be to meet my points target daily for one month. One of the problems I've had the last two weeks is undereating. I save so many points early in the day that I have too many points to consume in the evening. Part of this was being sick, but the truth is that I when I wasn't sick I was hoarding my points/calories to spend on big dinners with friends. So, until February 16 (my birthday), I solemly swear I will eat at least my minimum points every day.

As for my weekly goals, I make the following:

1. Exercise for at least 3 hours.
2. Make a meal plan and grocery plan for next week, taking into account my exercise and bible study schedule.
3. Clean the bathrooms. (This falls into the spirtual/mental health category, I swear!)

Week 2

I am finishing up Day 8 of my journey.

I met all my goals last week, despite going to Vegas for 4 days. I attended a WW meeting on January 4, 2006, and I have journaled and drank water every day.

I have not had my weigh-in for this week yet. Work ran long and I was not able to leave in enough time to attend my regular WW meeting. I am planning to attend an alternative meeting tomorrow.

But this blog, and my journey, are not just about loosing weight. It's about overall physical, mental, and spirtual health.

So my goals this week are:

1. Attend WW meeting.
2. Exercise for at least 3 hours over the course of the week.
3. Meditate and/or pray for 5 minutes per day.

Day one of my journey is Tuesday, January 3, 2005.

I am not aiming to "loose weight" or to reach a certain level. My goal is to obtain overall health by eating right, exercising, and maintaining my mind (i.e. education) and spirtuality.

I am using this blog to track my goals and progress towards health.

My current weight is: 205.8 lbs.

My goals this week are:
1. Attend Weight Watcher's Meeting.
2. Journal daily.
3. Drink six 8 oz. glasses of water per day.